Freaking pissed
So pissed
but you know whats behind pissed?
Did you know that anger is a secondary emotion?
Hurt
Sad
Pain
comes first
Did you know what I was going to write about this beautiful Sunday?
I was going to write about something I have overcome. Triumph
but really I need to get
real
A beautiful baby boy's presents have I been graced with recently
not even one years old
he will be one on Monday
Tomorrow
His mom is unstable, under constant control of lies and heroine, meth, anything
He is the sweetest, easy, calming baby you could ever have
I have been lucky enough to have been taking care of him recently
Even though I was sick, I couldn't say no to his eyes full of wonder and full of painful memories
His mom was in the hospital for skin diseases she received from stabbing herself full of heroine needles
My young brother and wife passed him off to my family
Why does there need to be these sad circumstances in life?
I already know the answer, yet avoiding it eases the pain
Long story short she manipulated into getting him back. She uses him for sympathy and money.
No one deserves to be used
But we all get used
I just miss him. I don't want this little soul around screaming, breaking doors, drugs, random people.
I want him safe.
I realize I have no control over this
It hurts to see it on paper
writing about my good times just didn't feel right
I just needed to ramble, to let my feelings bleed
Thank you for your time
i feel like i can relate on one level or another. there's i hate more than knowing a perfect person is around a bunch of screwed up grown ups
ReplyDeleteAt times like these, it makes me irratated to be restricted with these stupid blog names. I don't want to wear this hat, I want to jump out of this stupid text and hug you. There is no comfort enough that I could give to you in words alone, but in empathy, I give all my emotion to you. Stay strong, I want to help, I want to say more... But I'm just a nobody, writing about my own struggles in a world that doesn't exist.
ReplyDelete"It hurts to see it on paper"
ReplyDeleteOh, man. This sucks. I see this in the paper and it sucks. I can't imagine in my own immediate family.
How do we save the world?
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
Keep fighting. Keep writing. Keep venting. We'll keep listening.
"It hurts to see it on paper"
ReplyDeleteI cannot comprehend the expense of such heartbreak, I send all the love I have. I'm here to hear all you have to say.
you're such a good person
ReplyDeleteLet my feelings bleed... #stolen
ReplyDelete